Reruns All Become Our History
by arollercoasterthatonlygoesup
Summary: Alternate Games. No berries AU. "She lets the arrow fly and he pulls her back as soon as they're certain that it hit its mark. The trumpets sound. He opens his mouth to say something, but whatever it is gets drowned out by the trumpets. 'Presenting the victors of the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games – Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark.'"


_He's still a few steps behind her while they run, trying desperately to get away from the mutts. She grabs him by the arm, pushing him ahead of her. He stumbles for a minute but manages not to fall.___

_He hesitates for a moment when he reaches the wall of the cornucopia, glancing over his shoulder at her.___

_"Climb!" she instructs, having to scream to be heard over the barking. "Peeta! Go!"___

_He does, but not fast enough. She's only just getting a grip on the wall when she's yanked back down._

-

Her mouth is dry when she wakes up, which only contributes to the feeling that she's been asleep for days. She glances around at the room she's in for a minute. The lights are so harsh that she has to squint to make anything out.

She reaches down to peel the white sheet off of her leg hesitantly. She's positive that the metal-and-plastic replacement is some fabrication from a nightmare, but the scream that she lets out isn't enough to wake her up. She only manages to send a couple of avoxes in to calm her down and medicate her.

Somehow, medication takes precedence.

_He lands wrong when he jumps down after her, but doesn't even really seem to notice. He pushes her behind him, using his knife to cut into enough of the mutts to give themselves a few seconds.__  
_  
_"Are you crazy?" he asks. "Get up there!"___

_She lets out a shaky breath and tries to climb, but she can't manage it. Not on her leg. "I can't!"___

-

"I need . . . I need to see Peeta," she's begging, but her tongue is thick in her mouth from the latest dose of the Morphling.

The redheaded avox smoothes Katniss' hair back and out of her face and shakes her head, which Katniss takes to mean _not now_.

"Please," she tries, and her voice broken and desperate. "Please. I have to."

The girl shakes her head, sort of frowning. An awful thought hits Katniss and her stomach turns.

"He made it. Didn't he?"

The girl nods.

-

_He hands her the knife, takes her bow, and climbs up while she swipes at the mutts. She's mid swing when he grabs her arm and lifts her up.___

_She tries to turn, to climb or do something to help, but she's dead weight. When he finally gets her up onto the surface, she's hit with an image of him tossing a bag of flour over his shoulder. How small must she be now if he can lift her when he's scrawny and sick, himself?___

_"Are you insane?" he whispers once they're up on the horn and safe, pressing a kiss to the top of her head to soften the words. "You really need to start looking out for yourself, too."___

_That's when Cato pulls her away from him.___

-

Information comes in bursts, and is _always_paired with some sort of heavy medication and tiny bowls and portions of food. She would feel slighted, but she can't even finish them.

_No_, she can't see Peeta, because their reunion is supposed to be during the recap. _Yes_, he got to keep his leg, but she's more to thank for that one than the doctors. _Yes,_they're sure she can't see him but she should be happy to know that he's been asking about her, too.

It's the questions about her leg that comes next.

_Yes_, she'll be able to walk again, but they want her to use a cane for at least the next few months, just to be safe. _No_, she can't take the leg off, because it's been surgically sealed to her flesh and her bone. They want her to come in for a bigger one in a few years. They tell her about how it's state of the art, about how they expect her to make a full recovery, how the healing process is different for everyone, how lucky she is not to have to go through physical therapy once she's at home.

These exhaust her more than any information about Peeta could. She's actually relieved at the end of these question and answer sessions when the medicine makes her tired.

-

_Peeta's grip on his knife tightens and Cato laughs.___

_"Kill me and she goes down, too."___

_She claws at his arms, trying to get him to release her, but he won't. Peeta is so incredibly torn, his eyes darting from her to Cato and back at what must be a hundred miles an hour.___

_She reaches down, touching her finger to the slippery blood on her leg, and draws a deliberate X on the back of his hand. Peeta understands what it means only a fraction of a second before Cato does, but it's enough time to send the knife flying at his hand.__  
_  
_He's never been known for his accuracy of aim, but the knife cuts deeply enough on the way by that Cato tries to jerk his hand away out of reflex. Using what little strength she has left, she slams Cato backwards. For a terrifying moment, she thinks that she's going over, too, but Peeta lunges forward and catches her by the front of her shirt.___

_"Hey, hey," he says, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "It's okay. You're okay. I've got you."___

-

Finally, they let her practice with the cane. She had worried that, maybe, her other leg would be weak, but it feels strong for some reason. Either way, her footsteps are heavy and so incredibly loud. She remembers Peeta's in the arena and a smile pulls at the corners of her mouth for a second, but only for a second, because she remembers the end of that story.

He couldn't hunt. He was too loud.

-

_"Can I take a look at your leg?" he asks, and she's barely nodded before he's helping to ease her into a sitting position.___

_"Is it bad?" she croaks as he examines it. "Feels bad."___

_"It's . . ." he trails off, shaking his head. "It's fine. It will be fine. They'll fix it up in the Capitol."___

_"Shouldn't we have heard a canon by now?" she asks and Peeta purses his lips. Cato's cries pierce the air before he has the chance to answer.___

_"It's going to be okay," Peeta assures her. "It'll be over soon."___

_It isn't. He keeps examining her leg, looking terrified every time he thinks that she's not paying attention.___

_"Do you remember Ripper?" Peeta asks. "Do you think something like that could help stop the blood?"___

_"A tourniquet?" she asks, and he nods.___

_"Try," she commands, handing over her last arrow. "You need fabric or something."___

_Even though it's cold enough out that she can see his breath, he pulls his jacket off without hesitation and pulls his shirt over his head.___

_"Is this enough?" he asks as he puts his jacket back on.___

_She nods. "It has to be a strip. Can you cut it?"___

_He looks over at the mouth of the cornucopia regretfully. "I can try to tear it."___

_She nods. ___

_-___

She even surprises herself by hugging Haymitch first, when she greets her team.

It's alarming how empty it feels to see everyone in her team without Peeta.

-

_"Now what?" Peeta asks, holding up the torn shirt.___

_"Wrap it around my leg. Tight. Use the arrow."___

_He seems to be having just as hard a time with doing it as she is with having it done. "Is this okay?"___

_She shakes her head. "Tighter," she croaks. "It has to be tighter."__  
__  
_-

Her prep team talks for hours while they prepare her for the recap. Most of it is about her leg.

"It's just about the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen," Flavius gushes. "It's so _shiny_."

"And think of all the time you'll save on hair removal!"

Katniss can think of an even better way to save time, which is not to remove it all, but she doesn't say that.

"What do you think Peeta will think?" Octavia asks.

Katniss wonders about this so much that she doesn't even pay attention to anything else that they talk about. What _will_Peeta think?

-

_Peeta comes to sit behind her, unzipping his jacket again and then zipping her into it. She doesn't even realize until she's surrounded by his body heat that she had been shivering.___

_"Katniss," he says when she slumps against him. ___

_"Mm," she manages.___

_He continues, spurred on by her acknowledgement. "Prim is going to be there when we get home. Won't that be nice?"___

_She looks up at him. He knows exactly what he's doing, no matter how innocent he looks. Using her baby sister to guilt her into staying awake. Staying alive, maybe, she's not sure. But would it really be so bad if she just slept for a little while?___

_"I bet she's watching right now," he adds. "Are you excited to see her again?"___

_Katniss nods.___

_"Will you introduce us?" he asks.___

_She nods.___

_"I'm really looking forward to meeting her," he admits.___

_"I think you'll like her," Katniss says.___

_"Oh, I'm sure I will," Peeta says. "I have every intention of making everyone you love like me."___

_This is enough to make her smile. "Prim probably already does."___

-

To his credit, Cinna doesn't mention her leg at all. The dress that he helps her into seems almost like it's been designed specifically to show it off, but he looks apologetic as he helps her into the little flats. Even her cane is wrapped with yellow ribbon that makes it looks like it's a part of her outfit.

"What do you think?" he asks as looks at herself in the mirror.

"I think it's the best yet."

-  
_It takes them all night to make the decision to use the arrow from her tourniquet to end things.___

_"No," he says firmly.___

_"We need to get this over with," Katniss insists. "Please._ _We have to," she says, and as much as she can tell he'd like to argue, he only nods and unzips her to set her free before he sits down closer to the mouth of the cornucopia.___

_Ignoring the way that her leg protests when she removes the arrow, she stretches herself across his lap and readies her bow. He holds her tightly around the waist so that she can lean forward, but that doesn't make it any less terrifying to lean over the side of the cornucopia and see the mutts tearing apart their fellow tribute._

_She lets the arrow fly and he pulls her back as soon as they're certain that it hit its mark. The trumpets sound. He opens his mouth to say something, but whatever it is gets drowned out by the trumpets. "Presenting the victors of the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games – Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark," Claudius Templesmith announces, and Katniss lets out a sigh of relief.___

_"What was that?" she asks, sitting up to wait for the hovercraft.___

_"I said that there's a lot of blood," Peeta says, and she notices the blood on his hands for the first time._

-

She can feel herself getting impatient while the crowd cheers for her team. Her eyes keep landing on the newly constructed wall that Peeta must be behind. She wonders if he would hear her if she tried speaking to him.

Before it comes to that, though, she's being lifted up onto the stage. She barely has time to look for him before he's at her side, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Her cane presses into his back for a moment she throws her arms around his neck, but she drops it when he kisses her. If he notices, he doesn't show it.

She's all but hanging on him. Her toes – the ones she has left, anyway – are barely even touching the ground. His hands find her hair and run through them, and all that she can think is that he's _here, he's here, he's here_, and that's all that could possibly matter.

Caesar tries to interrupt, but Peeta pushes him off to the side. Katniss realizes that he must be thinking the same thing about her and tries to somehow get closer to him until the cheering of the crowd manages to pull her out of the moment.

-  
_  
__The last thing she sees before she loses consciousness is Peeta banging against the glass that separates them in the hovercraft. She's not positive, but she thinks that he's saying – most likely screaming – her name.__  
_

Haymitch finally gives them a good-natured shove towards the Victor's chair – which has been modified into a loveseat for tonight. She can all but see the wheels turning in Peeta's head when she stumbles and clutches his hand.

He must have noticed the cane falling, because he crouches down to pick it up. He hesitates before handing it to her, though, and that's when his eyes fall on the metal that replaced her shin. He lets out a shaky breath and the smile drops from his face for a moment.

"Katniss."

"Could I have that, please?" she asks, nodding towards the cane.

"I'm sorry," he says, standing up and presenting it, and she's not entirely sure if he's apologizing about her leg or his reaction. She lets go of his hand and takes the cane. "Nobody told me."

"It's fine," she tells him, not sure what her reaction would have been, anyway. "Did they . . .? How's yours?"  
The audience howls with laughter at the awkwardness and she decides that she hates everyone that had anything to do with the decision to do this live.

He swallows hard. "It's fine."

_There_, she corrects her in her mind. She roots around, trying to find some sort of jealousy, but comes up short. He's fine. He's here. He's _whole_. He leans forward now, giving her one last kiss and taking her by the free hand to lead her to the little couch and pull her down so close to him that she's practically on his lap.

They communicate by touch during the recap. He notices the way that she tenses during the boy from One's interview and pulls her in more tightly, with his during Rue's. He swallows hard when he talks his way into an alliance with the Careers, and rubs circles on the back of her hand as if to assure her that it wasn't real.  
She sees now how Peeta protected her in the arena before they even met up. He whispers her name in his sleep, stays awake all night under the tree. She knows now that she didn't imagine him running back to warn her – in fact, that's what his cut from Cato was a result of.

How did any of the other Victors make it through this alone?

She can tell that it's hard for him when they show him with the careers. When he kills the girl on screen, she wishes that she could turn to look at him, but she's nearly positive that that would land the both of them in trouble. So instead she pulls her legs up onto the couch and gets as close as to him as she can.

He kisses the top of her head when Rue enters the picture and begins to play with her hair, which is a good way to convince her to calm down.

There are tons of shots of them in the cave. It's strange, watching her kiss him so many times. Knowing that it's what everyone else in the room is doing.

To her surprise, he actually _laughs_when she asks who can't lie after she drugs him. She can feel it rumble through his chest.

"I _really_should have seen that one coming," he murmurs into her hair.

She responds with as subtle as a shrug as she can manage. He's tense and silent when they show her at the feast, and she gives his hand a little squeeze.

She watches from some angle above as she shoves Peeta ahead of her, all but forces him up onto the Cornucopia, and starts to climb after him only to be pulled back down by the mutts. She realizes that this is close to what he must have seen when his hand tightens around hers.

-

The party at President Snow's mansion is exhausting. They don't even really eat; just pose for picture after picture with particularly generous sponsors.

Peeta is still holding onto her hand when they get into the car to go back to the Training Center.

"Someone should have told you," she says, resting her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he murmurs.

-

Peeta looks handsome in red and white during their interview. Her dress is another gauzy white thing that's cut short enough to completely display the new leg. At Caesar's suggestion, she curls up against him the way she did the night before.

She gets away without saying a lot for the first part of the interview. Peeta and Caesar still have that easy banter between them from the first interview, and she mostly just laughs and directs the questions back to Peeta.

"Well, Peeta, we know, from our day in the cave, that it was love at first sight for you from what, age five?" Caesar says.

"From the moment I laid eyes on her," says Peeta.

"But Katniss, what a ride for you! I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him. When did you realize you were in love with him?" asks Caesar.

Peeta is watching her, now and she's not sure what she's supposed to say. The truth seems lackluster compared to Peeta's story, yet she knows that if she doesn't tell him now, she might not ever. "Oh, that's a hard one…" she starts.

"Well, I know when it hit me. When you called out for him in that tree," Caesar says.

"Things certainly changed at that point. I didn't let myself think about anything before that because it was confusing and complicated and I had to try to get home to my sister. And after that I was mostly in healer mode, and you have to admit that he wasn't the best patient at first."

Peeta hangs his head in mock shame but she can see how guarded he looks. As if he thinks that she's going to say that it was all just an act.

"I was halfway there before the feast, I think," she admits. "I'm not sure when the rest of it happened. I didn't really give it permission to. But when he saved me – with the mutts – and he had me up on the cornucopia he asked if I was insane and all I could think was that I must be, because I didn't want to go home at all if he wouldn't be there."

"Why do you think things changed in the tree?" he asks.

"Because . . . for the first time . . . there was a chance that I could keep him," she admits, and Peeta presses his chin into her temple.

"So, now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?"

"Put you somewhere you can't get hurt," she answers, and when he kisses her, people in the room actually _sigh_at this. Caesar has to take a tissue out, he's so moved.

Caesar uses this as a perfect opportunity to segue into all the ways they _did_get hurt in the arena, from the tracker jackers to Cato's sword. She feels sort of bad about teasing him when Peeta gushes over how gentle she had been when she worked on his leg.

"Tell me, Katniss," Caesar says when they get around to the mutts. "How is your new leg working out?"

"It's working out just fine," she says.

"So, Peeta, am I correct in assuming that nobody told you?" Caesar asks.

"No. Nobody did."

"I hadn't had the chance," Katniss says.

"It's my fault," he announces. "Because I used that tourniquet. I should have just let you use the arrow."

"Yes," Katniss says. "It's your fault I'm alive."

"She's right," Caesar says gently. "She would have bled to death for sure without it."

It doesn't seem to make him feel any better. He presses his lips against the top of her head for a long moment, pulling her in even more tightly, as if in apology.

"I'm very lucky to have the doctors that I did. Especially Peeta," Katniss says.

She doesn't feel very lucky at all when it comes to her leg, in all honesty, unless it's by comparison, but Peeta didn't get to be so popular without sucking up to the citizens.

"And what do you think of it, Peeta?" Caesar asks.

"You're kidding, right?" Peeta asks, smiling. "It's a part of Katniss. I adore it."


End file.
